Fitting into society is one of the most challenging things we do as adults, and something caught my eye the other day that surely qualifies as one of the most challenging institutions in society - marriage.
Well, actually, what caught my eye was a diamond ring... and it made me think of marriage, so surely that qualifies as a deeply reflective ponder upon the venerable institution.
A recent survey reveals that happiness and satisfaction with life does not depend on your marital status, bursting the marital bliss bubble, to say the least. A more in-depth look at the survey shows that just one-tenth of the 24,000 surveyed couples who were tracked over 10 years reported that their happiness increased with marriage. The rest reported that on average, their happiness depended on their existing personal outlook on life, which didn't really change too much after the wedding day. So if you are happy before you're married, barring any major problems, you'll stay happy and contented.
Researchers said that the surveyed couples found that "marriage can be very pleasant and rewarding, but has the potential to be very stressful".
So much for a diamond ring making my wedding day! My advice? Based on that very sensible survey, I recommend being responsible for your own happiness, and viewing marriage as a source of love and support, rather than the only route to bliss.
I will never forget the first company party I attended.
I had just joined the company, and it was one of those grand balls during which everyone is expected to impress, network, socialize and otherwise make the event work for them. I was sitting in a quiet corner of a table, desperately wondering what to say to these glamorous colleagues, when suddenly, a young woman appeared at my left elbow.
"Hi, my name is Melanie. Will you please help me out? I really need someone to walk around the tables and collect raffle money by selling these tickets," she begged with pleading eyes.
My first response was to just say no! But then I realized that wouldn't make a very good impression on Melanie, and when I thought about it, on myself. After all, if you can't help others, what's the point? I put a smile on my face and with a knot in my stomach took the proffered basket of tickets and rose from my comfortably dark corner.
The first table I went to was full of the big bosses, and I realized that I would have to make a strong impression. I stood at the table and picked out the biggest of the lot and got him to start the raffle ticket buying. All it took was a smile and a polite request to buy the raffle tickets, his community spirit took over, and he bought $100 worth! From then on it was easy......everyone was welcoming, and it was a great way to meet my colleagues.
So if you're feeling socially embarrassed at a company event, just remember, find a way to help out.....it could be assisting in charity, it could be helping to introduce your table mates.....either way, if you're doing something constructive, you'll soon forget your nerves.
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